If you notice bruises or scratches on your spouse, you should definitely ask. If they act strangely or extremely defensive when you ask, it may be a sign that there is something else going on. Those bruises could be from wild sex or worse, a fight with the person that they are cheating on. Keep an eye out for such types of changes to appearance.
This can also be considered picking fights. Does your spouse take the smallest thing and blow it out of proportion. Are they so overwhelmed by discontent that they have to, “just get out of here” all the time? This is a common tactic of cheaters.
If you confront your partner about suspicious behavior and they don’t take you seriously you should be very concerned. It’s common for a cheater to make you question your own intuition. Chances are if you are feeling suspicious, it’s not without reason. Don’t allow them to make you feel guilty for raising concerns. Don’t let them use reverse psychology to accuse you of adultery. Be aware of attempts to threaten to leave you if you question them. A faithful spouse will be hurt that you think they are cheating but will also be willing to address what behaviors they have that may lead to your insecurities. If you find that your spouse would rather discredit your concerns than address them, it’s a very strong sign that they are cheating on you.
If your significant other is cheating, they maybe avoiding all conflict with you. They may suddenly become agreeable to many things that they previously didn’t agree to. This is to try and create an overly positive spin on the home life of the relationship to mask their activities with a secret lover. Beware if you have had doubts about someone cheating and then they suddenly have become completely agreeable to everything that you want.
Picking fights serves multiple purposes in a cheating situation. As a starter, it’s a way to try and get your partner to leave you. This absolves the cheater of guilt for ruining the relationship. Secondly, picking fights for random things will divert your attention from the real problem at hand – the fact that they are cheaters. Cheaters will want to pick fights to keep the attention on the relationship and also to help you feel that the problems are just between the two of you. If you notice small thing being blown out of proportion and being escalated into full fights for no reason, there may be something else going on.
Did your significant other constantly nag you for months but suddenly lost interest? Do they now no longer care what time you come home? Are they no longer interested in who you were with or what you were doing. This dissociation can be the result of them realizing that they have an alternative to their relationship with you. If you felt like you were living with a nagger and now your nagger seems to be completely easy going – something suspicious might be going on.
If you find yourself constantly raising issues with your lover and they dismiss it regularly, you may be with a cheater. It’s common for cheaters to dismiss concerns using tried and tested lines. Here are some common lines cheaters use:
o You’re being paranoid
o You’re being emotional
o It wasn’t me
o I married you, what more do you want?
o It’s all in your head
o I might as well cheat, you’re always accusing me of cheating
o They are just a friend
o You are always looking for a fight
o If you keep acting like this I will find someone else
o You think to much
o You’re overthinking this
o I didn’t want to wake you up
o When I’m out there I’m thinking of you
o Hanging out with my friends makes me realize how much I love you
o I’m just a flirt
o I can’t help it, people just seem to like me
o They might want me – but I only have eyes for you
o Those people out there don’t mean anything, you’re the only one for me.
o If you were more exciting I’d include you when I go out
o You never want to go out
o You’re just jealous because I’m a social person and you aren’t
o I’m not a home body