This can also be considered picking fights. Does your spouse take the smallest thing and blow it out of proportion. Are they so overwhelmed by discontent that they have to, “just get out of here” all the time? This is a common tactic of cheaters.

If you confront your partner about suspicious behavior and they don’t take you seriously you should be very concerned. It’s common for a cheater to make you question your own intuition. Chances are if you are feeling suspicious, it’s not without reason. Don’t allow them to make you feel guilty for raising concerns. Don’t let them use reverse psychology to accuse you of adultery. Be aware of attempts to threaten to leave you if you question them. A faithful spouse will be hurt that you think they are cheating but will also be willing to address what behaviors they have that may lead to your insecurities. If you find that your spouse would rather discredit your concerns than address them, it’s a very strong sign that they are cheating on you.

This is also considered a passive form of defensiveness. Rather than wait for you to question your spouse’s whereabouts, they may choose to give you full details of where they are. If you find your spouse calling you to tell you who they are with, what time they arrived, what time they left, what they were doing, and why there were there …you should start to ask yourself why they are so eager to tell you all of this. This is more obvious if you haven’t even asked them what they are up to.

If your spouse is extremely defensive (even when not being accused) they may be cheating on you. There is an extreme amount of guilt that can erupt from cheating. This can expand to paranoia, fearing that at any moment you can discover their infidelity.  This will lead them to defend their every action to try and steer you away from thinking that they might be cheating.

Beware of defensiveness. Your partner may get very defensive whenever you ask them if there’s something suspicious going on. For example, if you ask your lover how their day was, and the response is “Why are you in my business?”, you might be dealing with a cheater. What’s most important here is an unexpected unjustified defensive response to the most basic of requests. If you get into a fight if you ask someone what they were up to, where they went, who they were with or when they are getting back, you may be dealing with a cheater.

If you find yourself constantly raising issues with your lover and they dismiss it regularly, you may be with a cheater. It’s common for cheaters to dismiss concerns using tried and tested lines. Here are some common lines cheaters use:
o You’re being paranoid
o You’re being emotional
o It wasn’t me
o I married you, what more do you want?
o It’s all in your head
o I might as well cheat, you’re always accusing me of cheating
o They are just a friend
o You are always looking for a fight
o If you keep acting like this I will find someone else
o You think to much
o You’re overthinking this
o I didn’t want to wake you up
o When I’m out there I’m thinking of you
o Hanging out with my friends makes me realize how much I love you
o I’m just a flirt
o I can’t help it, people just seem to like me
o They might want me – but I only have eyes for you
o Those people out there don’t mean anything, you’re the only one for me.
o If you were more exciting I’d include you when I go out
o You never want to go out
o You’re just jealous because I’m a social person and you aren’t
o I’m not a home body