Has talking with your lover suddenly become boring ? Your lover may be thinking about their next date with their secret lover when they are with you. Cheaters will often let you carry on most of the conversation, so they can appear to be good listeners. They may also be trying to rush through interactions with you – so they can get back to their new lovers. If you find that it’s suddenly hard to carry a conversation there may be some cheating going on.

Picking fights serves multiple purposes in a cheating situation. As a starter, it’s a way to try and get your partner to leave you. This absolves the cheater of guilt for ruining the relationship. Secondly, picking fights for random things will divert your attention from the real problem at hand – the fact that they are cheaters. Cheaters will want to pick fights to keep the attention on the relationship and also to help you feel that the problems are just between the two of you. If you notice small thing being blown out of proportion and being escalated into full fights for no reason, there may be something else going on.

A cheater may take out their frustrations on you. This can lead to verbal abuse. It’s common for a cheater to constantly insult and belittle their partner. This is done to subdue the partner so that they don’t rise up and accuse them of cheating. This is also done to create leverage. By making you lose self confidence, if you ever find out about the cheating, you will take the blame for it. With low self esteem, you may decide that they cheated because you were somehow inadequate. Never let a cheater make you feel like they cheated because of you.

Cheating is stressful. It requires someone to keep their stories straight and provide attention to more people. This can lead to a cheater being in bad moods. If they are prone to abuse, they may become increasingly abusive. This is also done to exert a measure of control over the person being cheated on. If you are afraid of being beaten or being deprived of basic necessities, you will be less likely to accuse a cheater of committing infidelity. Stress related to the cheating may also lead a cheater to be increasingly abusive towards children as well. Children are sometimes considered to be the only reason a parent stays in a relationship. This can lead to resentment and retaliation against the children.

This is the most rudimentary form of reverse psychology. What better way to avoid being accused of cheating than to accuse someone else of cheating. By doing this they put you in a defensive mode, leaving you with no moral high ground to accuse them of cheating. If you’ve done nothing wrong and your lover is always accusing you of cheating, it may be a sign of their infidelity.

One of the worst things that a cheater can do is take their kids along for dates. Unfortunately when you have children it’s difficult to find time to cheat. It’s common for a cheater to bring the kids along. Depending on the age of the children, this can lead to confusion over who the mother or father is. They can develop an attachment to the new adult who is interacting with their parent as another parent. At some point, they will learn the name of your lover’s new flame and may accidentally drop that name. It’s highly unlikely that a cheating parent will explain to the children that the new person is a “secret” friend that they shouldn’t mention. Beware if your kids suddenly know new adults.

People choose to cheat for many reasons. Sometimes they have unrealistic expectations of their partners. For example, expecting a person to change their physical appearance to maintain a relationship. If you are unable to meet their demands, it’s possible that they will try to find someone else. Once they have the attention of others, you may find that they are less interested in criticizing you for not meeting their standards. Chances are that their new lover will have many of those characteristics that you were being criticized for not having.

Did your significant other constantly nag you for months but suddenly lost interest? Do they now no longer care what time you come home? Are they no longer interested in who you were with or what you were doing. This dissociation can be the result of them realizing that they have an alternative to their relationship with you. If you felt like you were living with a nagger and now your nagger seems to be completely easy going – something suspicious might be going on.

Beware of defensiveness. Your partner may get very defensive whenever you ask them if there’s something suspicious going on. For example, if you ask your lover how their day was, and the response is “Why are you in my business?”, you might be dealing with a cheater. What’s most important here is an unexpected unjustified defensive response to the most basic of requests. If you get into a fight if you ask someone what they were up to, where they went, who they were with or when they are getting back, you may be dealing with a cheater.

If you find yourself constantly raising issues with your lover and they dismiss it regularly, you may be with a cheater. It’s common for cheaters to dismiss concerns using tried and tested lines. Here are some common lines cheaters use:
o You’re being paranoid
o You’re being emotional
o It wasn’t me
o I married you, what more do you want?
o It’s all in your head
o I might as well cheat, you’re always accusing me of cheating
o They are just a friend
o You are always looking for a fight
o If you keep acting like this I will find someone else
o You think to much
o You’re overthinking this
o I didn’t want to wake you up
o When I’m out there I’m thinking of you
o Hanging out with my friends makes me realize how much I love you
o I’m just a flirt
o I can’t help it, people just seem to like me
o They might want me – but I only have eyes for you
o Those people out there don’t mean anything, you’re the only one for me.
o If you were more exciting I’d include you when I go out
o You never want to go out
o You’re just jealous because I’m a social person and you aren’t
o I’m not a home body