Cheaters need to maintain their relationships with their secret lovers the same way they need to maintain their relationships with their primary lovers. This involves phone communication, emails, dates, etc. If your lover is taking a call with a plutonic friend, they will not think twice about taking such calls with you in their presence. If they decide to go outside every time they receive a call, or even often when they receive a call, they may be trying to hide calls from a secret lover. After all, they can’t use those sweet terms of endearment with you right there. They also can’t use their “sexy voice” when you are in the room with them. And let’s not forget how their new lover may want them to say things like “I miss you”, “I love you”, “You know you’re the only one”, “Can’t wait to see you”, etc. So be wary of lovers who always have to be in private to take their calls.

You know that your significant other has always showered in the morning. Yet lately when they come home they dash straight in the shower to be fresh for the rest of the day. You question them, yet they claim they just like to feel fresh. This may be a sign that your lover is doing something during the day that they shouldn’t be doing. Most people don’t need to shower more than once a day, so if your lover is doing this, and doesn’t suffer from a hormonal disease that affects sweating, they may be working up a sweat with a secret lover.

To make more time for dates, cheaters will use routine activities and simply extend the time. Is your lover now taking 4 hours to do the groceries instead of 2? Are they always running to the pharmacy or constantly dashing back to the grocery store for mundane things? Cheaters will create endless errands that will take a few hours at a time so that they can sneak out and see their secret lovers. You should be cautious if you notice an excess of such errands for no apparent reason.

Cheating lovers need to be able to get away to be with their lovers. They can either do this by making themselves unavailable or suddenly being overly interested in where you are. A cheater will often want you to call before you show up, call before you arrive home, let them know exactly where you are going, let them know who you are going with, as well as always letting them know who you are with. If you suddenly feel like you have to report your every movement, they may be using this information to schedule their dates with their other lover.

Not all couples communicate a lot during the day. However, if you were in a relationship where you would check in from time to time and they are suddenly always MIA during the day, perhaps there’s something else going on. Changing the number of times they spend checking in, may indicate that they don’t want to be bothered once they’ve left the house. They also may not want to have to call you while they are in the presence of the person they are cheating with at work. Be wary of this if your lover starts to do this.

A cheating lover will need to find excuses to be outside of your presence. One way to do this is to extend errand running to after work. This way they can take a few hours after they leave the office to “run errands” while they are really having a quick date with another person. If your lover won’t run errands with you, is overly eager to run the errands alone, always wants to run them after work or during lunch, and can’t be reached while they are running errands – there might be something else going on.

Is your loved one suddenly taking working lunches all the time? Were you previously in a situation where you could spend lunches with your loved one – without warning? Be aware if your lover suddenly doesn’t want to see you during lunch time hours or becomes inaccessible during lunch. Your lover might be having lunch with someone else. Also be very suspicious if they get upset when you drop by unexpectedly for lunch or seem irritable when you do so. If you do drop by and they refuse to let you come in, or they only want to sit in your car, there might be a sign that there’s something going on.

Cheaters need many excuses to account for the time that they spend with their secret lovers. One of the oldest and most common excuses is claiming to be working late. Because they can easily leave the house to go to work, they don’t have to justify why they are there. There is also an element of blaming lateness on a need to work late to provide money for the household. Be suspicious if there is no benefit to working late. For example – no overtime, or no promotion to justify it. It becomes very difficult to argue with a breadwinner when they are seemingly inconveniencing themselves to earn more money for you. If your significant other is always working late, see if it’s something the entire team is doing. Also, offer to come by and provide dinner since they are working late. Check if you can actually reach your significant other when they are working late. Even though it’s sort of “stalkerish”, take a random drive past their office when they are working late and see if their car is still there. It’s possible that work has just become busy, but you should be able to quickly tell if this is really the case.