This can also be considered picking fights. Does your spouse take the smallest thing and blow it out of proportion. Are they so overwhelmed by discontent that they have to, “just get out of here” all the time? This is a common tactic of cheaters.

The stress of an affair can really take its toll on a person. Your spouse may be irritable around you for no apparent reason. Also, they may be overly happy for no reason as well. Because the relationship interactions can give them reason to respond emotionally and you will not be a participant of those interactions, their moods may seem out of whack.

If you confront your partner about suspicious behavior and they don’t take you seriously you should be very concerned. It’s common for a cheater to make you question your own intuition. Chances are if you are feeling suspicious, it’s not without reason. Don’t allow them to make you feel guilty for raising concerns. Don’t let them use reverse psychology to accuse you of adultery. Be aware of attempts to threaten to leave you if you question them. A faithful spouse will be hurt that you think they are cheating but will also be willing to address what behaviors they have that may lead to your insecurities. If you find that your spouse would rather discredit your concerns than address them, it’s a very strong sign that they are cheating on you.

If the affair that your spouse is having progresses to a full emotional affair, they may start to disengage from you. As they start to think about their potential new life with their secret lover, they may not put much effort towards your relationship. If you find that they like to be alone all the time, don’t want to talk with you, pick up hobbies that you aren’t invited to join, or always want to be away from the home, they may be planning to leave the relationship.

This is also considered a passive form of defensiveness. Rather than wait for you to question your spouse’s whereabouts, they may choose to give you full details of where they are. If you find your spouse calling you to tell you who they are with, what time they arrived, what time they left, what they were doing, and why there were there …you should start to ask yourself why they are so eager to tell you all of this. This is more obvious if you haven’t even asked them what they are up to.

If your spouse is extremely defensive (even when not being accused) they may be cheating on you. There is an extreme amount of guilt that can erupt from cheating. This can expand to paranoia, fearing that at any moment you can discover their infidelity.  This will lead them to defend their every action to try and steer you away from thinking that they might be cheating.

Your spouse may want to avoid any reason for you to think there is anything wrong with the relationship. It’s very possible that problems within the relationship led them to cheat in the first place. As they seek a way to keep everything in order, they may decide to suddenly become easy going about everything. They may become completely agreeable to everything and not question any decisions you make. This is also a dangerous sign because it means that they are disengaging from the relationship.

There are many reasons for a cheater to pick fights. Stress from juggling multiple relationships can lead to conflict in the home. Fights are often used to deflect attention from the deception at hand. They may also pick fights to justify storming out of the house and taking “hours” to cool off. If you notice that you are always having fights for the slightest of reasons and whenever there is a fight they are quick to storm out of the home late at night, they may be using this as an excuse to see their secret lover. Don’t be deceived by this ploy.

Cheating is a very stressful thing to maintain. While dealing with the pressures of a new lover wanting to get more attention, there is the constant feeling of guilt that comes up when they are home. They also may be dealing with the stresses of work, the fear of being caught, and a feeling of resentment towards you. This can result in mood swings and emotional responses that don’t seem appropriate for the situation. On their own, mood swings are not a good indicator of cheating, but they often accompany the other signs.